Why You’re Failing At Self-Care
Self-care is the topic about around every corner!
If you’re in the health space, looking to be your healthiest self, or searching for a way to improve your health, there’s no doubt that you’ve probably stumbled across something self-care related recently, if not today!
So, why is it that we are all so obsessed with self-care, yet when it comes down to it, most of us fail miserably?
Can you relate?
WHY YOU’RE FAILING AT SELF-CARE
You probably have a million things to do: work, food prep, run your family around, workout, keep your house clean, arrange upcoming plans, and the list goes on.
It’s no wonder that (even though you might talk big about self-care) it slips through the cracks, and your schedule allows for one minute (at best) of self-care time! (Which is probably performed between errands, while sitting in your car, and trying to sneak in some deep breathing!)
Who’s with us? #handsallraised
Here’s the problem, you’re not preparing yourself for extreme self-care!
Even though you’re gung-ho about self-care, your attempt is falling flat because you’re not taking time to prepare yourself to make self-care a priority.
But hey, you’re not alone!
That’s why we’ve put together a list of ten ways to prepare yourself for extreme self-care so you can finally make it a successful part of your daily routine!
10 WAYS TO PREPARE YOURSELF FOR EXTREME SELF-CARE
Every self-care regimen should begin with self-assessment to take inventory of the roadblocks in your life! (Beep, beep — coming through!)
Begin by thinking about areas in your life that cause you to feel deprived, stressed out, angry, frustrated, or even resentful. Then think of what you need more of — what are you yearning for, starving for, longing for, and hungry for?
Combine the two in one succinct statement, such as, “I feel deprived of solitary quiet time away from my family because we are always so busy. I yearn for time to rediscover my passion for writing poetry.”
Be as specific as possible, clearly identifying the root causes!
After you have done so, work through these steps:
- What is your goal?
- Identify the current internal rule that stops you from reaching your goal.
- Create a new internal rule.
- Take actions that align with new goals and rules.
Don’t follow the path of least resistance. You can redesign your life to be more consistent with your dreams and desires.
2. CLEAR YOUR PLATE
If you continue to have your energy drained by extraneous demands, then you won’t have the energy to refocus on self-care.
Self-care may even seem like just one more stressor. Only you have the power to clear your plate. Nobody else can do it for you, and you don’t need permission!
It is entirely valid to decide to focus on self-care over other demands.
3. GET PAST THE DISCOMFORT
Extreme self-care takes commitment, practice, patience, and sitting with uncomfortable emotions.
These emotions may spawn from confronting the root of unhealthy behaviors and beliefs, prioritizing your needs over others, and standing up to the judgment of others.
Ultimately, you will emerge as a stronger, more independent, and more authentic person if you can get past the initial discomfort of self-care.
Remember, self-care is unfortunately not the norm in our society – even though it should be!
You will be a trendsetter – and with that comes turbulent waters. Ground yourself in the knowledge that this is what is best for your well-being.
4. IGNORE OTHERS
Because other people might believe the myths of self-care and might begin to protest how you are spending your time.
In reality, they might be jealous of you or afraid of the unfamiliar. These reactions reflect more about them than they do about you.
Even if they become angry with you for prioritizing your own needs over theirs, confidently go about your new routine, resting assured that it will pay off in renewed mental and physical health in the long run.
5. YOU WILL LET OTHERS DOWN
People-pleasing diminishes human potential and creates a society of people-pleasing robots.
Acknowledge that you are a human being with needs of your own! You will never be able to please everyone, even if you spend your whole life trying.
In fact, prioritizing others’ needs over your own represents ultimate egoism, because it reflects the belief that you think your presence is critical to others’ success. #whoa
Desensitize yourself to others’ reactions and prioritize your own needs. It takes practice and commitment, but ultimately, you will overcome your addiction to pleasing others.
6. LET OTHERS DOWN EASILY
Just because you might let others down doesn’t always mean you have to lose that relationship.
In fact, when you set healthier boundaries, you will likely grow healthier relationships with the same people or new people. To maintain past relationships, learn to let others down easier.
We all have to say “no” to live healthy, balanced lives! When confronted with a new commitment, take some time to think about it before making a decision.
For big decisions, you may want to sleep on it. Taking your time to make decisions prevents you from saying “yes” to things that might not serve you.
As you take time to make your decision, let others know upfront that you might not be able to commit. Then, they won’t be thrown for a loop if you do say “no” after thoughtful consideration.
7. USE YOUR VOICE
Learn to speak up for yourself. Practice saying “no” and be sure to speak up for yourself to defend your time and energy.
Get comfortable with disappointing others because it comes with the territory of making time to be a healthy person.
The fact is that there is only so much time in the day and you can’t spend all of it helping others.
Every time you speak up for yourself, assess what happened in the following ways:
- Consider how you feel about it.
- Think about your language.
- Evaluate your honesty.
- Notice if you got defensive or drawn into their emotions.
8. STOP PEOPLE PLEASING
Many people get drawn into the trap of trying to be who others want them to be.
This may result from a deep-seated feeling of personal inadequacy and the belief that nobody would ever love the real you.
These feelings usually stem from childhood, when parents desire to mold you how they want you to be.
This tendency can make it difficult to know who you really are. It takes a courageous, conscious decision, as an adult, to reconnect with yourself and to express your true self.
9. STOP PROCRASTINATING
Getting from point A to point B in the most efficient way possible is the goal, but when you have self-doubt, you may try to get to point B through several intermediary steps like:
- Trying to get others approval.
- Creating drama or other things that make you feel that you need to take care of them immediately.
- The desire for point B to be perfect.
- By procrastinating between point A and point B.
- Having health problems related to stress.
10. SET YOUR PRIORITIES
Prioritize your own needs first. You must take care of yourself before you can take care of others.
You will be of little use if you don’t meet your own needs! Make lifestyle changes to reflect your desire to take care of yourself.
Begin by prioritizing things that are important to you, simply because they are important to you! Live more authentically and more holistically!
If you’re really serious about succeeding at self-care and making it part of your daily routine, you must go through these steps first!
Make a point to go through one step each day before setting aside time for self-care.
By bringing awareness to your actions and areas you may be falling short when it comes to self-care, you’ll be much more effective.
Are you guilty of letting self-care slip to the sidelines? Tell us in the comments below and tell us how you’re going to switch that around!