5 Ways To Choose You (Even When You Feel Lonely)
I’m going to be SUPER transparent here: I still ‘struggle’ with feelings of loneliness.
By no means can I say I have conquered the loneliness monster (and I’m not talking about the Cookie Monster here).
I definitely can’t say that it’ll never rear its scary head at me ever again. Oh no, I can’t say that!
But what I can say is that I’ve come a long, long way on my journey.
WHERE IT FIRST BEGAN
I can recall when I was about ten years old, curled up in my bed, sobbing because I just wanted kids to ‘like me’.
I saw how my younger sister attracted lots of friends, and it seemed like it was effortless for her. She was outgoing, fun, playful, and smart!
Meanwhile, I was the quiet, conscious, and sensitive child.
I didn’t know it at the time, but the wisdom I possessed at age ten was far beyond that of my peers.
I often felt misunderstood — that I should be more talkative and aggressive about how I was showing up in the world.
I often heard, “Oh Cherelle, she’s shy now, but she’ll come out of her shell someday.”
Side note: When I recall that as an adult, I want to go back and yell, “Don’t project on me how society has decided a child SHOULD behave! Also, I’m not a turtle!” (Deep breath!)
If I could talk to my younger self, I’d say, “Who cares! You do you, boo!”
It wasn’t until later that I discovered it wasn’t really about ‘kids liking me’.
It was REALLY about learning how to connect with my higher self.
ALONE VS. LONELY
Don’t get me wrong, growing up I had a few wonderful, loving, and close friends.
I’ve never been “alone” in my entire life! I’ve always had (and have) people who care deeply for me and love me unconditionally.
Here’s the thing, we can feel lonely but not be alone. Conversely, we can be alone and not feel lonely! (You may want to let that sink in for a second!)
When I realized there was a distinction between those two things, I was able to focus on the root issue, which was my feelings of loneliness and not that I was actually alone.
I think feelings of loneliness come from a space in our hearts that desire, and long for, a strong love connection, but not a connection found externally.
It’s a deep love connection that resurrects and is forged from within. (It’s kind of like you’re dating yourself!)
MIRRORS TO SELF-LOVE
What is this emotion REALLY about though?
I don’t think it’s about the actual topic of loneliness, at all!
In fact, maybe your inner struggle isn’t really loneliness.
Maybe, it’s you believing people abandon you. Or, that you’ll never find the man/woman of your dreams? (Insert your personal struggle into this section.)
I think it’s MUCH bigger and broader than we realize!
I think these feelings come from our limiting beliefs, and these limiting beliefs exist as mirrors to guide us to deeper self-love (and there goes the lightbulb emoji!).
For example, I’m currently experiencing the challenge of CHOOSING ME in all my relationships and any situation in my life.
WHAT TERRIFIES YOU
I kept noticing that people would cross my boundaries. This kept happening over and over again until I came to understand that I was allowing people to cross my boundaries because deep down I was TERRIFIED of feeling lonely!
And, cue the drumroll, please, what is really happening is that the Universe is gently saying, “Here Cherelle, let’s see if you can choose YOU — even if it scares the you-know-what out of you!”
The thing is that when we choose us, really groovy stuff happens!
Those limiting beliefs start disintegrating — they start to fall away.
It’s like the Universe is seeing if we really, REALLY want to live the life we’ve always dreamed of! (Cue the Spice Girls, “Tell me what you want, whatcha really, really want!)
This is not a road for the weary, loves!
But, it’s the road that will lead you to a deep, fulfilling, loving connection to your higher self (what your soul was before you became negatively influenced by external factors) and eventually to the life you’ve always imagined for yourself!
5 WAYS TO CHOOSE YOU (EVEN WHEN YOU FEEL LONELY)
How can you choose YOU when the Universe presents a situation? Here are 5 ways to practice choosing yourself over and over again…
Recall how you felt in past situations when you didn’t choose you.
Maybe you felt anxious, depressed, or guilty?
Recalling those emotions can be a huge motivator in switching up old, stale patterns, and setting yourself up for a new, brighter path, full of peace, happiness, and bliss.
2. CONNECT WITHIN
Do a meditation to connect with your higher self! I’ve found some fantastic guided meditations just by searching on YouTube!
My favorite is Aaron Doughty! Check it out here!
3. SIT IN SILENCE
A super powerful, yet simple practice is to sit in silence for 2 minutes (or longer) with your hands on your heart and ask what it needs?
Sit and listen.
The answers may not start pouring in at that moment, but they eventually do.
It’ll be like Niagara Falls, so grab your raincoat! (Seriously, though!)
4. ASK FOR SUPPORT
Reach out to another safe, trusted loved one to hold you accountable — this has been instrumental for me!
Sometimes I get caught in the moment or emotion, and by texting or calling a friend that has my best interest at heart, it’s much easier to return to reality and my higher self.
5. DIG DEEP
Ask yourself if what you’re about to do will help you reach your dreams.
If it won’t, and you choose it, then I promise, the Universe will continue to present you with the same situation over and over again (face smack) until you eventually choose YOU!
Where are your struggles? What you’ve done to break ‘habits’ that aren’t serving your higher self? What you’ve done to connect with your higher self? Tell us in the comments below!
YOU are STRONG, courageous and brave!
You will be absolutely blown away by how much strength you actually have.
Go ahead! I double dare you to choose YOU! Let’s see what happens!